Thoughts

Ugh. I'm the worst blogger ever. In an attempt to document my upcoming trip to Spain, I am going to try and write at least once a week, preferably on Sundays! Stumbled across this old entry that I never published. I figure this is as good a place to start as any if I plan on actually using this blog.

"So I just had a conversation about life with my puppy. This seems silly, I know, but it was really a conversation for me. Her friend is very sick and right now things aren't looking so great. I know that Jasmine probably won't understand what's happening. She'll probably be confused when she can't find him. And she might even be sad for a few days. But she won't really know what's happened.

I've been trying to help my friend out in any way I can. Death isn't something I've had much experience with and I always feel that whatever I say ends up just being words. I can't replace loss with words. I can't change what happened with words. So I will just hug her and let her cry and tell her that everything will be ok.

No matter what happens, you need to be ok with it. Do the best you can, and realize that nothing you did or did not do could have changed what happened. Sometimes bad things happen, for no reason that we can fathom. Whether it's God or fate or whatever you believe in, what matters most is that you are ok. Life goes on. Its tragic, and messy, and beautiful and worth every damn minute."

That was the last thing that I wrote and it was over a year ago.  Kind of startling to log into your blog and see this entry just waiting there to be posted.  Its slightly appropriate I guess.  The last few weeks have been some rough ones. Several of my very good friends have lost loved ones and I've experienced different losses of my own.

In the past year I have finished coursework, defended my MA Thesis, taught my first course, lost friends and gained new ones, found love and lost love and moved back to my home (HOME!!!). In the next year, I will go to Spain, teach again, and return once again to Spain. I figured out a lot of things about myself (mostly that I don't handle stress very well and that I'm an emotional roller coaster) and I've laughed a hell of a lot because I'm lucky to have the most amazing friends and family! In 6 weeks I am going to Spain to begin my dissertation research and I'm terrified and excited and nervous and happy. Feel free to tag along. This is going to be quite the adventure!